Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for Women by Kristine Carlson

Author:Kristine Carlson [Kristine Carlson]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Self-Help / Stress Management
Publisher: Hachette Books
Published: 2001-09-02T00:00:00+00:00

53

KNOW WHEN YOUR EGO IS GETTING THE BEST OF YOU

Recently, while on a meditation-yoga retreat, I took a course that described the ego in the best way I had ever heard or read. I was taught that we have two parts to our identity: our great “self,” which is our true spirit, and the smaller self, which is our ego.

The ego holds us at bay from communicating and being in touch with our true self; that is, who we really are on the inside. It’s as if we are two people: the kind, generous, gentle and loving one, who has access to wisdom and health; and the other, who is vain, greedy, impatient, void of compassion and understanding, and sometimes downright hostile.

These are the two voices that we hear in our heads. At times, it can feel as though these two, the true self and the ego, do battle with one another. In some cases, the ego is in charge so much of the time, the true self is hidden; therefore, the person feels empty and miserable except when the ego is temporarily gratified. The key to true contentment is to know when your ego is getting the best of you.

It was never clear to me, until recently, exactly when I was in my ego state of mind versus when I was in my true self, which is genuinely my own true nature. Now, I have an easy way to tell which one is speaking. It’s quite simple: the ego urges you to define yourself. It says, “I am a something. I am a mother. I am an author. I am intelligent,” and so on and so forth. The true self says only, “I am,” and needs nothing attached to that. “I am,” while fulfilling my responsibilities as a mother. “I am,” while loving my children from an unconditional place in my heart. “I am,” while writing this book. I am myself, which is undefined by my resumé, physical characteristics, personality, or anything else, for that matter.

You can still be intent upon resolving your issues while allowing your true self to speak. You just don’t go about it in the same way that you do when you’re coming from your ego. Your communication has less bite, and is gentler and more compromising. You don’t have to be a pushover; but you don’t have to act like a child throwing a tantrum, either.

When you begin to feel the difference between being in your ego versus being in your greater self, you realize how liberating it is to hold your ego at bay. Your inspiration and peace of mind soars as you connect with who you truly are on the inside. The ego muddles you with never-ending desires and illusions, and can never be satisfied. If you’re in pain, chances are, you’re in your ego state of mind. As you learn to identify when your ego is getting the best of you, you will free your true self, which is best qualified to run your life and to make you happy.

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